


don't drown dude

by kurooos



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asphyxiation, Blow Jobs, Bulge Sucking (Homestuck), Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Nook Eating (Homestuck), Nook Fingering (Homestuck), Oral Fixation, Overstimulation, Piercings, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Wet & Messy, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurooos/pseuds/kurooos
Summary: Dave comes home with a surprise for Karkat, and one thing leads to another. Leading to their couch getting ruined, leading to both of them needing a shower.An RP turned into a fic for your reading pleasures.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 136





	don't drown dude

**Author's Note:**

> I've got this super nice rp going with a Dave on mxrp and decided i needed to make our first day's chat into a fic. 
> 
> this is pretty much verbatim with the rp itself, just a few tweaks and changes here to make it easier to read as para instead of script, but it might still read like a turn by turn chat, sorry for that!
> 
> i cut a LOT of filler out too and this still ended up being almost 4k of just....porn. lmao enjoy! i also,,,didnt beta this well haha, sorry for any mistakes!

Karkat is enjoying his evening on the couch, curled up with a good book, when Dave suddenly comes through the front door. He’s been out with Rose for the most of the day, since they haven’t seen each other in a while.

He expects a ‘hello’ or a more Strider-esque ‘honey I’m home’ but instead gets Dave shuffling over to the couch and saying “Kat.”

“Dave,” he returns the sentiment with the same tone, finishing his paragraph before shutting his book to look at Dave. He’s still in the clothes he left in, no scratches or random leaves and branches in his hair. Looks like he had a good day.

“I might have done something stupid.” Or not. Karkat narrows his eyes just a bit.

“Just another Friday around here. What did you do?”

Dave takes a deep breath, “I wanna preface this by saying it was all Rose’s idea. You can direct all your ire to her PO box,” he continues, “anyway… I got my bellybutton pierced.” 

Karkat’s eyes glance at the general area of Dave’s belly button hidden under his shirt and says, “You got your belly button pierced.”

“Uh, yeah. You know the fleshy little crater in my torso.”

Karkat scowls, “I am well aware of your human anatomy, Dave.”

Immediately, Dave smiles at him with a wink. Karkat rolls his eyes.

“I meant like. _Why?_ For a status brag? Like on purpose?”

“Yeah, but like, can anything be considered ‘on purpose’ under the influence of Rose and her droning? Like, don’t get me wrong, love the bitch, but jeez she sure does get me in a sunken place sometimes. Also, no. Not a status brag, just for funsies.”

Karkat levels Dave with a look, “I don’t think permanently piercing your body should be something that counts in the realm of funsies rules,” still, Karkat’s curious, and finishes it off with his arms crossing his chest and, “show me.”

Dave continues to drone on, clinging to Karkat’s first reply, as he typically does. Once the guy’s got himself on a tangent, it’s hard to get his attention elsewhere. 

“Wow, I didn’t know you were the President of Funsies. I’m so sorry for disrespecting you. Thank you for your service, sir.”

He looks like he’s about to open his mouth and _continue_ that, so Karkat cuts him off. 

“Shut the hell up and take your shirt off, dickface. Here’s hoping it at least looks good.”

Dave snickers, reaching back for his shirt collar, “That’s probably one of the more polite ways you’ve ever asked me to disrobe before, babe.”

Dave yanks his shirt up over the back of his head and lets it drop to the ground along with his shades. The piercing is… not what Karkat expected. Though he really doesn’t know what idea he had to begin with. Certainly not this.

It’s a simple little hoop, running through the top end of his navel so that the glittering red jeweled piece sits in the dip of his bellybutton. It’s connected to the hoop with a simple silver chain which Karkat imagines gives it some room to swing and be overall flexible. 

He doesn’t think it looks bad, actually. But he’s certainly biased when it comes to Dave. He seems to have a knack for making anything look pretty, but Karkat’s not willing to feed into his ever growing ego.

Instead, Karkat raises an eyebrow at the piercing and reaches out, flicking the jewel piece with the tip of one of his claws. “Hm.”

“Um. Do you... like it? Not that it really matters but like. You know.”

Karkat balances the back of the jewel on the tip of his claw, turning it side to side as he tries to balance it. Even in the low light of their living room, the little facets catch the light. Karkat can see the skin around the piercing is already healed up, thanks to Dave’s quick godtier bullshit, but it still seems sensitive. So Karkat doesn’t think to pull on it. He’s not that mean.

“It sure is fucking shiny.”

“Is shiny bad?”

“Not particularly,” because he doesn’t want to just straight out give Dave the compliment, “do _you_ like it?”

Karkat watches the blush fill out on Dave’s cheeks as he tries to hold still under his scrutiny, or maybe he’s just shy because he genuinely likes the piercing, “Yeah. It’s cool or whatever.” 

The confession makes Karkat huff out of his nose fondly, finally letting the piercing go to instead give Dave a pat on the stomach just above his navel, he means it when he says, “it’s pretty.”

And _that_ compliment really does make Dave preen. It’s so obvious that he likes that Karkat likes it. “I think I might get more.”

“Don’t go fucking overboard with it. You’ll start looking like some highblood wannabe.”

“Man, I keep forgetting that jewelry is some hierarchical thing for yall.”

“Yeah, it’s a huge status flex.”

“Okay, but that shit doesn’t matter anymore, right? Couldn’t you just like, stick it to the man… Or women in your case. Past case?” Dave looks like he’s genuinely thinking about it and Karkat rolls his eyes. 

“I’m not saying it matters. It’s just how I see piercings since I grew up with that being the norm for getting them.”

Dave’s quiet for a second before saying “I don’t think I’ll want a lot of them but… you know what? I think I want to do my tongue.”

“Oh. That’d be hot,” Karkat says honestly.

“Fuck, I’m glad you think so too,” Dave chuckles, “because ever since I got this one it’s all I’ve been thinking about. Like, how you’d react to metal in my mouth while I’m suckin your bulge.”

Of course. Of fucking course, leave it to Dave to always be thinking about sex. But, not like Karkat’s any better, as soon as Dave hints at it, his brain’s spiralling down the imaginary road of metal and sensation and wet warmth.

“I think any instance of you sucking my bulge would have a positive reaction. Metal or no metal.”

“Damn. I’m honored. I, too, think that my dick sucking skills deserve an award. But uh. You _would_ be on board with that?”

“The...piercing thing or you sucking my bulge?”

“All of the above.”

“Yes. That.”

“Oh. Haha. should we like, yknow. Practice?” Dave grins at him, wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, but Karkat just frowns.

“How are you going to practice getting your tongue pierced?” 

“I meant sucking your _bulge_ , Karkat. Keep up, babe.”

Oh.

“Oh. Yeah. I’m down. Uh, you mean like, right now?” Karkat’s excited about the idea, but he’s still just a little nervous Dave’s actually kidding. That is until he snorts a little.

“Oh my god, how are we still so bad at this?” 

“I just- you- okay. You know what. I’m just going to take my pants off now.” Karkat huffs decidedly and immediately sets to doing so. 

Dave, so eager as always to please, drops right then and there onto his knees and shuffles in closer. “Keep sassing and we’re gonna have to change quadrants my dude.” 

His teasing little smile is cute, Karkat has to admit, and the focus of his eyes on Karkat’s crotch has him a little squirmy. They’ve done this plenty of times already, not even close to their first time fucking around, but it’s always exciting. 

Karkat chunks his pants and boxers onto the floor behind Dave as he lays back on the couch and splays his legs. He scoots down to sit closer towards the edge of the couch where Dave kneels, staring at his parted legs.

“I think if _you_ keep sassing, my bulge is gonna stay inside of me for the rest of the day.”

“Mm. I’m not so sure. I think he likes me more than you do,” he drags his nails up Karkat’s thighs, rising up on his knees to land a little smooch to a grey hip. 

Even just having Dave that close to his nook has his bulge squirming in interest in its sheath. Warmth makes his muscles relax, and his legs fall apart wider. 

“Stop referring to my bulge like it’s a person. It’s still fucking attached to me.” Karkat can’t help but grumble.

“He deserves _rights_ , Karkat,” Dave’s looking up at him with a smile and a glittering amusement in his eyes, even as his warm mouth is trailing down to kiss little chaste pecks against the fleshy outside of his nook. 

“It’s just a bulge. Quit _talking_ ,” Karkat huffs. He’d make a comment about the human saying about not eating with your mouth full. Or was it talking…? What the fuck ever. He wants Dave to focus on actually using his mouth instead of talking with it.

Karkat digs his sock-clad heel into the side of Dave’s ribs, hoping that it spurs him into silence. But just in case, because he knows Dave needs as much guidance as he can get, Karkat pushes a gentle hand on the top of his head, pushing and guiding him until his mouth is up against where Karkat wants him on his nook.

“Mmhph- pushy-” he mumbles, but parts his lips anyway, grabbing Karkat’s ankle and giving him a yank closer to the edge of the couch before he drags the wet flat of his tongue all the way up his nook. It immediately gets a gasp out of him and Karkat lets his head drop back with a low groan.

Just that bit of sensation is enough to get his bulge interested, the tip peeking just a little out of his sheath. Dave notices almost right away and grins right up against his nook and mumbles fondly, “Hey buddy.”

Karkat’s first thought is that Dave is about to start focusing on his bulge, he’s got a knack for sucking him off more than eating out his nook, but instead Dave gets right back to wiggling his tongue over wet, hot skin in a motion another troll’s bulge might take. And fuck if that doesn’t get Karkat riled up.

Using his fingers, Dave gently pulls Karkat’s nook open wider, hums greedily as he wriggles his tongue in _deep_ and sucks. Fuckfuckfuck- Karkat’s bulge immediately comes slipping out of his sheath and squirming up against Dave’s face. It trails little pink tinted smears of genetic material as it moves in search of something warm and wet. 

And it’s not that Dave doesn’t love being covered in Karkat’s junk slime, but hey, that shit’s fucking immpossible to get out of his hair, and when Karkat’s bulge starts to come near his sideburns, Dave’s drawing the line. He brings a hand up so he can keep it occupied with his fingers, and it does just that. 

Karkat’s bulge twists and curls between Dave’s fingers in little random patterns, squeezing and then recoiling a different way. It feels fucking fantastic, especially with Dave’s tongue and lips dragging over all of the soft, sensitive spots of his nook. Karkat can’t help but moan again, a hand snagging Dave’s hair and tugging his mouth in firmer against his body. 

They’ve talked about Dave’s interest in asphyxiation before, especially via nook smothering, and Karkat’s a people pleaser only when Dave is concerned. Any kink is hot when Dave’s into it, and he’ll gladly indulge, especially since it gets him a happy, fucked out moan right into his nook, vibrations riding all the way up his spine. 

Karkat can feel his orgasm build up all the way down in his toes, climbing higher the more Dave huffs and breathes hard through his nose, obviously struggling to breathe, but oh so enthusiastic to stay right where he’s at, buried in nook. And fuck that’s- that’s the ticket. Karkat doesn’t even give Dave a warning before he’s cumming into his mouth. 

Genetic material drips down Dave’s chin and face as his bulge and nook both ooze and leak. It’s not so much a rush like Dave’s human orgasms, but it’s just as good, and twice as messy. 

Karkat had been nervous about making such a mess when he’d first started having sex with Dave, but now, years down the line, it satisfies some bone-deep part of him to see Dave claimed and dripping with his release.

Despite the shaking in his legs, Karkat holds Dave where he is, grinds and rolls his hips in tight little circles up against his face to chase the aftershocks and ride it out. Only once he can take a full breath of air and not shake with it does he release Dave’s hair and let him draw away.

Just in time, Dave thinks idly, as he pulls back with a heaving gasp. He chokes a little on the mess of genetic material still in his mouth, but his head is too fuzzy to care about it, and he dives back in to lave little licks of his tongue over Karkat’s nook to try and clean him. There’s just _so much_ of it and it’s pointless to try and completely clean between Karkat’s legs. 

Dave pulls away again and pops a few fingers into his mouth after swiping a smear of genetic material off his face. It’s still fucking everywhere though, and he’d gonna need what he’s dubiously called the ‘cum towel’ which they keep stashed on the couch for times just like this. But Karkat’s still fussing over him with a small, concerned, “oh god, are you okay?” 

“Am I okay?” Dave chuckles breathlessly, “fuck dude, I’ve never been better.” He’s taking the towel and rubbing his face clean. Or...as clean as he’s going to get without an immediate shower. Karkat looks at him with a solemn little stare.

“God, I wish you weren’t literally fucking glazed with my slurry so I could kiss you.”

“Wish you weren't such a pussy so you could kiss my cum mouth and fucking like it,” Dave snickers, grinning as he puts his head down on Karkat’s thigh. 

“Yeah. No. Kiss my bulge instead.”

He’s still pinning it down out of the way against his body. It’s not yet drawn back up into his sheath again, and despite having just cum, if Karkat doesn’t keep it in check, it’ll lazily roam and squirm until it’s found Dave’s mouth or his nose. Karkat seriously thinks that Dave _is_ it’s favorite even though he hates thinking of his bulge having any sort of actual sentience.

Dave gives him a little mock salute, and a cheeky, “aye aye, capt’n,” before dropping in and smooching right above his fingers on Karkat’s bulge. Karkat doesn’t let go even when Dave licks up the side and then comes back down, tongue focused more on Karkat’s fingers. He’s tried to wiggle it under his fingers, and Karkat’s ready to scold him until Dave tells him to let go. 

Once he does, his bulge immediately curls and wiggles against itself like it’s unhappy there’s no touch, and then it goes searching. Dave’s close enough, and it nudges against his chin before it easily finds his lips. It gives a curious curl against them before insistently shoving inside. 

Dave lets his mouth drop open in welcome. Karkat’s bulge is just barely four inches when it’s fully unsheathed, so Dave doesn’t worry about choking on it any, and the way it squirms inside his mouth is intoxicating. A swallow brings the tip of it against the back of his throat, and it explores further back there. 

The tight, wet heat has Karkat groaning on a sigh, a little curse in Alternian chitters out of his throat and Dave moans in agreement. Dave would like to stay just like this for the rest of the night until Karkat fills him up again, but his knees are starting to get a sharp ache and he needs to come up off the floor. 

Karkat’s bulge protests against Dave pulling off it, but there’s no hold for it and it’s not like he’s gonna leave his buddy for long. Just enough to get up on the couch. Karkat still finds himself whining as the heat goes away, and watches Dave sit up on the couch with a huff. 

It takes them barely a half second to find comfortable positions again, Karkat’s head balanced up on the arm of the couch and legs spread wide to give Dave room to crouch between them. Still, he’s fucking stalling, taking too long, and Karkat’s bulge gives a weak thrash in Dave’s grip.

“Cmon,” Karkat growls low, “if you want that tongue piercing you should earn it.” 

He can see the shiver that it makes down Dave’s spine. That guy _loves_ earning things. Loves having to work for it and get rewarded. His whine is muffled by Karkat’s bulge as he swoops down to take him all the way to the base. He’s so deep down, that his slick, soft lips brush up against the top of his nook, and Karkat moans loud into the room.

“Yeah- fuck- show me how good that tongue piercing is gonna be,” he moans again.

Dave’s trying his fucking best. And there’s a mess of spit and genetic material leaking out of his mouth no matter how much he sucks and swallows. He pulls a hand up, sweeping up Karkat’s thigh before he drags the heel of his hand up against Karkat’s nook. It’s just what he fucking wanted, offsets the pressure around his bulge just right and Karkat growls as he claws at the couch.

Dave’s got a sixth sense for this shit, honestly. And he knows right when Karkat’s about to shred their cushions. And he fumbles with his free hand to reach up and lace their fingers together with a hum around his lazily squirming bulge, still trying to make friendly with his goddamn uvula. Little sucker’s annoying sometimes. He’s gotta keep swallowing to make sure he doesn’t choke.

And while their couch is safe, for now, Dave’s throat is… less so. Karkat manages a weak warning, grumbled in both English and Alternian, but Dave gets the memo. He stops working his mouth and instead lets his mouth hang open, lets the bulge inside squirm and move how it wants. 

Karkat’s bulge half curls up around Dave’s tongue and bends up against the roof of his mouth behind his teeth before it gets a bit firmer just before release. 

Dave will always be fucking amazed by the amount of cum Karkat makes, even right after one orgasm prior. He can’t swallow it all down and it makes a mess of the couch, makes a mess of his hand where he’s still grinding on his nook, got two fingers crammed inside.

It’s almost too much, Karkat’s all shaky and hot after cumming so close behind the first time, and just about as soon as the shocks are over, his bulge is retreating back into himself. Dave’s mouth still follows it, licks and suckles and dives to his nook once it’s completely gone. 

With a hiss Karkat pushes a hand weakly onto his forehead, “ _fuck-_ okay- enough. Stop it. Jesus fuck-” 

It leaves Dave panting over his lap with genetic material dripping obscenely off his lips and the most fucked out, spacey eyes. The angle is perfect for Karkat to see the glittering red jewel in his navel too. His bulge gives a valiant effort at throbbing, but there’s no more left in him no matter how fucking hot Dave is.

Dave crawls up his body with a smug grin, nuzzles his sticky face right into Karkat’s shoulder and whines. He knows that gets Karkat going. The desperation. He pants, hips rolling into empty air between them. 

“K-Kat- hhng- f-fuck _please_ \- touch me,”

“It got it. I got you. Come here,” Karkat moans, fumbling a hand down into Dave’s pants until he can get his cock. It’s so hard and hot in his hand. He decides, fuck the rules, and kisses Dave right on the mouth. 

The noise Dave makes is sort of pitiful, way too loud even as Karkat’s kissing him, but fuck it’s good. He loves making Dave fall apart. He cums quickly into Karkat’s hand, right up over his stomach in weak little jerks.

Karkat works him through it slowly, doesn't stop stroking and kissing him until Dave gets all soft and shuddery on him. Dave flops right down on top of it with a huff, and despite himself, Karkat feels a purr start up in his chest. 

The drying mix of cum between them is a little annoying, he’ll be honest. But he’s too blissed out to worry about it at the moment. That is until Karkat’s purr cuts off and he pushes Dave back some, getting a whine for it.

“Wait. Is all this cum good for that piercing?” Dave laughs a little at him.

“Pr’olly not. Worry ‘bout it later.” 

“We should shower at the very fucking least, Dave. And try to save the fucking couch, that cum towel did jack shit.”

“Listen, I’m not the most efficient bucket in the world, you don’t gotta rub it in.” Dave gives the dubiously called cum towel a little scowl. Yeah, it really didn’t help since Karkat wasn’t sitting on it. Oh well. He curses the towel to a satisfying slam dunk into the trashcan in the near future. 

“God, how are you the logical one when I did my fucking best to suck the soul out of your bulge?” 

Karkat can’t help but chuckle, “You didn’t just do your best, you succeeded. HAha. _Succ_ eeded.” 

Dave groans, but Karkat can still feel his cheesy smile against his shoulder, “god we've been together for too long.”

“You should be getting onto yourself for any of my ‘ _dudebro_ ’ habits. I’m also pretty sure my brain isn’t fucking working right now.”

Dave gives him a sweet little uncoordinated kiss before standing up on wobbly legs. He makes quite the ridiculous picture, covered in a thin sticky layer of pink, dick out, pants hanging around his ankles. A glittering red piercing in his stomach a little cloudy with cum. 

Eugh. Karkat’s so stupid in love. Dave still manages to look pretty like that. Karkat still has to get up, and he does with a little scowl at the feeling of unsticking from the couch. Ew. 

They make their way into the bathroom, rest of their clothes tossed into the sink for later. Dave turns on the water, and immediately sits down on the tiled floor. Karkat joins him with an amused huff, raising an eyebrow down at him.

“Stand up and shower with me you fucking nerd.”

“But the view is so great from down here,” Dave smiles.Karkat really does look beautiful like this. Hair plastered down by the water, all dark grey skin, and red grubscars that he happily drags his hands up over. 

“You know,” he says quietly, thumbs brushing the skin over Karkat’s ribs above his grubscars, “I love you.”

It’s like a kick to shin, the sudden noise of Karkat’s purr in his chest. It’s much louder than before and Dave smiles stupidly over it. It’s like a love confession in and of itself. Karkat comes to sit down in between Dave’s legs, smiling.

“I love you too.”

From there, Dave takes it upon himself to wash them both right there on the floor of the shower. It’s honestly the stupidest shower Karkat’s ever taken sober, and he loves it. It’s so uniquely them. He stares at Dave as he works suds over his chest.

“You’re so pretty,” he blurts and Dave immediately blushes. He’s still so unused to taking compliments, even after these years of being together.

“Shut up,” Dave mumbles furiously, still blushing as he tries to change the subject, “so do you think I gained any weight? Because I definitely ingested like, a few quarts of your jizz.”

Karkat’s not falling for it. One, he doesn’t cum _that_ much, and two, he’s still thinking about Dave being pretty. It was a good try, he’ll give him that. 

“You’re so pretty it’s kind of unfair. How did I end up getting the best boyfriend ever? You’re so perfect. Make me so happy, Dave. I really do love you.” 

Dave’s hands still in their washing and he presses his face into Karkat’s shoulder. It's about as close to acceptance as he’s gonna get, and he has to bite his lip to stop from crying. Turns out all the stoic stuff is just bullshit; Dave Strider is a crybaby. He grabs the shampoo of the ledge of the tub and coughs pointedly, “Wash my hair?”

Karkat smiles and nuzzles his mouth up into the bend of Dave’s jaw before he turns away. Karkat gets a few happy kisses on his skin before Dave’s got his back to him. He washes his hair gently but pointedly quickly. The hard shower floor is starting to ache a little.

“I love you too,” Dave says quietly at the wall. It echoes. That’s really the only way Karkat hears it. “like a whole lot. I don't know what I'd do if we had never figured this shit out. I can't even imagine going back to how we were.”

“Past us were fucking imbeciles,” Karkat says, “I don’t even wanna fucking think about those guys.” 

He gets a few more smooches on Dave’s clean shoulder before the water starts to run colder. Time to get out. They’ve both gotten completely clean, and it doesn’t take long for them to dry off. They really are tired. 

They get into bed, forgoing clothes, because Dave wants it to be a naked night, and Karkat relents so long as he gets their extra blankets from the closet. 

It’s a little obvious Dave still wants to stay up and chat, but fatigue gets the best of the both of them, and once Dave cuddles up into Karkat’s front, kisses his nose and mouth a few times, they’re falling asleep in record time. 

Dave definitely gets that tongue piercing, weeks later.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kuroooos) here! <3


End file.
